Not a single hour of a day

Protector

This was in my journal from when I was in Canada

earlier this month. This is my favourite of all the stories:

August the 13th, 2012
sometime around Noon
Manitoba, Canada

       
       I have been traveling this week and last. I am currently on an adventure with Eliza and David on Victoria Beach way up north. Every day has been the best day of my life so far, until the next day comes and replaces the previous in the ranking of best days ever.

       Last night was full of magic and the Creator's abundant glory, though the night first arrived as troubling. It began when we planned for it to come to an end. We were dressed for bed when Eliza discovered one of the lenses to her camera missing. The last place she had it was the beach, so all 3 of us quickly dressed for a cold Canadian night and fled the house, wrapped in a blanket and holding flashlights to begin a frantic search.


       There were many footprints in the sand along the shoreline by the time we decided it wasn't there. We could not see the waves but we could hear them. Three children on a black and quiet beach is what we were. And amidst the entirety of our searching, I often found myself gazing at the sky rather than the ground, flashlight turned off--I saw the Milky Way for the first time. We were swallowed by a degree of nightly darkness I had never seen, not even all the way back home in my country field. It was magnificently distracting.

      After accepting the fact that the camera lens was nowhere on the beach, we rubbed our tired eyes and agreed to look again on the morrow. But we did not return to the house right away and slip gracefully off into dreamland in our sleep as we wished to earlier. You see, Creation was far too distracting this night. As our flashlights went off and our heads looked up...we suddenly found ourselves beneath a meteor shower.
       The 3 of us were soon on our backs above the blanket we used to spread out over the sand. I counted at least 16 shooting stars. God was telling us not to worry, it was going to be okay. We didn't need to fret about the lens. 
       The entire sky was dancing.
       Creation looked more alive than ever.
       He was telling us, "Be still and know that I am God."
       We were 3 tiny beings with great purposes being cradled in the great Author's arms. 

       Today, on a bulletin board, someone left a note about a camera lens they found on the beach the day before; needless to say, Eliza finally has it back now. 
       We didn't have a reason to go outside last night...until something went missing. God just wanted to spend time with us in His Creation. He wanted for us to see that phenomenal meteor shower. 
       It blows my mind that He craves our company.

See more of my photographs: http://www.flickr.com/photos/safelightscenes

     

O Darkness, look what the Light did now

Last night, I took my guitar in hands and Hope in my mouth inside the Tulsa County Jail, with which I hope was the beginning of a long musical journey of doing prison outreaches. What a privilege it was.

There are few things as beautiful as receiving, bringing, or just seeing Love in a hopeless place. There are few experiences I have had that are equally as beautiful as singing "Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)" and being vocally accompanied by those who are regularly in physical handcuffs, or opening your eyes in mid-song to see condemned women in orange jumpsuits stand up with their eyes closed to sing with you to the same Father of second chances.
15 of those prisoners gave their lives to Jesus last night.

O Darkness,
look what the Light did now.

If I know anything in life that is worthwhile or containing of everlasting value, it's this. I don't care about money, I don't care about what I can get out of people, I don't care about fitting into society, I don't care about gaining possession of things merely for self, I don't care about people looking at me. Anything that is outside of sharing the greatest Thing anyone could ever find to someone without, is meaningless to me. Jesus, give me more of You to give to more of them. This hunger in me, it won't seem to stop.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/safelightscenes

"You're no longer wandering exiles

This kingdom of faith is now your home country.
God is building a home."
- Eph 2:19-20

To see more of my photos, visit here

Today officially marks my 8th year

of suffering from brain trauma. 


Exactly 8 years ago on this day, my life was wrecked and put back together by Jesus, more beautifully than I could have ever even imagined. 


Today, I reclaim that joy. 

My rescued life a song.




But don't applaud me, applaud the One that overcame the chaos.

Tonight, I choose

joy

23 Reasons Why I Love My Job(Or What Makes It Interesting): The Funny Observations From the Little Girl At the Front Of the Music Store

1. The fact that literally every single person that comes in asks me if they came in the wrong door

2. The old men that bring in instruments they've made themselves

3. Little kids coming in for their first time that stop after the front door and say, "Whoa..."

4. The metal heads that shred on the guitars so loud we can't hear the customers, for sometimes leading up to 30 minutes long

5. The respectful gentlemen that take the time to politely compliment my lipstick or dresses

6. Cute, old people who come in to buy sound equipment for their church

7.  When customers bring their damaged equipment up to me and think that I will personally fix it

8. People that ask where Saied Music is

9. Entire bands that come in together, nod their heads at me, and proceed through the store with their sunglasses on, making subtle moves to let everyone know they're in a band, unaware that everyone else in the store probably is too

10. Customers that actually treat me like a lady and say "yes, ma'am" and "thank you"

11. The people that tug on the stiff door, decide it's locked, then walk away really embarrassed

12. The hipster kids that come in because they need to return their sound programs or mixing software

13.  The classic arrogant, older musicians that bring in their equipment, yet refuse to follow company policy because "that's not the way they work" 

14. People that are impressed I know where a serial number is on a guitar, even though that is practically my job

15. Creeps that hang around the front counter where I stand and try to flirt with me, astonished there is a female in a music store (I do not enjoy this)

16. The happy people that buy ukuleles

17. The sweet old men that stand up at the front and visit with me

18. When I ask customers to leave their guitars out of their cases while in the store, as company policy, and they look at me as if I said, "Please take your clothes off"

19. The typical people that ask me what I did to my leg... as they're walking out the door

20. Wives that come in to buy guitars for their husband

21. Customers that call me by name because they took the time to read my name tag

22. When I ask female customers if I can help them find anything and they say, "Yes, my husband. He'd never leave this place if I didn't come looking for him."

23.  The occasional customers that ask if I'm in Brother Rabbit and then proceed to tell me they come to our shows and listen to our music all of the time

I truly am grateful for my job and love every strange person that comes in.

"For us this is the end of all the stories...

...but for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world...had only been the cover and the title page: now at last, they were beginning Chapter 1 of the Great Story, which no one on earth has read, which goes on forever and in which every chapter is better than the one before."
- C.S. Lewis, The Chronicles Of Narnia

"I am your Creator. You were in My care even before you were born."

- Isaiah 44:2


To see more photos I take, visit here

By the time I turned 16,

all of my grandparents had left the earth, both on my mum and pops' side. I choose to say the word "left" because that is, in fact, what they did. They were all believers, so they "left" and went somewhere else: Home.


I've been in love with elderly people for as long as I can remember. My family used to think it strange that I enjoyed going to nursing homes. And when my last grandmother left, I felt like I was going to be missing out on an important part of growing up. I craved ancient stories. Old chuckles. Holding wrinkled hands. Godly encouragement from those older than parents. Making someone's day just by showing up at their house with a trampled flower I picked on the way.

Then one day, years later...
at a luncheon served at the college, I met and fell in love with my "adopted grandparents." They were the people making and serving the lunch for us. I'm glad that I didn't ignore my adoration for old people that day, otherwise I would never have gone up and met them. I introduced myself and asked them if they would tell me a story.

Lila was the one with the angel-white hair, curled around the top of her head like untouched snow, and her eyes were so bright I had to look at them twice to assure myself they were that blue. Her husband Ralph was a carbon-copy of the old man from the film Up, with a big, cute nose and suspenders to hold up his dress slacks.

Ralph had been telling me about how he first fell in love with Lila when she peeked around the corner at him with her blue eyes, and Lila had been telling me something about Nylons, when the thought came into my head. I looked right at Lila and asked,
"Hey, I don't have any grandparents. Do you guys wanna be my grandparents?"

For some reason, I expect her to do an old person chuckle and say "sure." But instead, she burst into tears and called to her husband,
"Ralph! Did you just hear what this little girl asked?! She just asked if we'd be her grandparents!" Ralph immediately came over laughing, his face was full of joy.
"Ah, how 'bout that! Honey, we'd be thrilled to be your grandparents!"

Grandma Lila and Poppy Ralph hugged me a thousand times and kissed me on the cheek. Grandma Lila hugged me so hard it almost hurt. Before I went home that day, the two had given me their phone number, last name, a lot of kisses on the face, and had explained to me how to get to their house.

Later, I learned that before they got in their car to come make lunch at the collage that day, they prayed together, both of them very discouraged, that God would reveal to them what their purpose was left for the remainder of their days left here in earth. Now I know why they cried when I asked them to be my grandparents.

Before I even graduated high school, all of my grandparents had left, so Grandma Lila and Poppy Ralph came to my graduation in their place. They came to my house for dinner on my 17th birthday. They gave me the journal that I currently write in. They prayed for me every time I traveled. They left me voicemails on my phone just to check on me. They came to see my band play that first time we held a concert for the youth shelter. They used their wrinkly hands to hold mine. Their whole day was made every time I'd show up at their house with flowers or an instrument to play for them.

If it weren't for my parents and my Grandma Lila and Poppy Ralph constantly treating eachother with respect and real love, I might have forgotten at that point in my life what it was to be treated right and have a beautiful, God-filled relationship. Lila wouldn't even wait for Ralph to say he needed more tea before she was up pouring him another cup. Ralph would sit across the living room from her and shoot her a wink or two. She once told me, "Yep. We still hold hands in church!"

David, one of Grandma and Poppy's sons died when he was 16. Pulling weeds in their garden was always his least favourite chore to do. Years after his death, Lila dreamed she saw David in Heaven, running through flowers. He called to her and said, "Look, Mom! There's no weeds here!"


Today, the cancer finally defeated my grandma's body--but of course, not her. Grandma Lila just went Home and changed her address. That will be mine and Poppy's address someday, too! Until then, I am happy that she is happy. She's running through the flowers with David. No pain. No cancer. No weeds.

See you soon, Grandma! Tell Jesus I said hi.


"The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever. For instance, we know that when these bodies of ours are taken down like tents and folded away, they will be replaced by resurrection bodies in Heaven--God-made, not handmade--and we'll never have to relocate our "tents" again... we've been given a glimpse of the real thing, our true home, our resurrection bodies! The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what's head. He puts a little of Heaven in our hearts so that we'll never settle for less. That's why we live with such good cheer." - 2 Cor 5:1-6    

Sanctuary

a word which here means a safe place in a troubling world, like an oasis in a vast desert or an island in a stormy sea

Unspeakable joy

The human body is only capable of expressing so much emotion. A person can sob their very hardest when  experiencing the greatest pain known to mankind, but sometimes the extreme of the emotion exceeds our ability to express it, and we are unable to display the degree of whatever extreme state of mind we have reached.

I assume most who know me, know of me, or recognize my name somewhere often pair whatever visual of me they have in their mind with the happiness I claim to have or the little smile I like to give. I am easily excited and often respond to jolly news like a silly, little girl. But you won't see me at a high energy level every waking moment or wearing a blissful grin every time you take a glance at me. I would not even be shocked if someone once says, "You seem very happy by the clothes you wear and the jokes you tell, but I do not see you constantly laughing, and sometimes you're even quiet."

That is because... I have reached a level of happiness and contentment that I am physically only capable of showing so much of. There is so much love inside of me that God has opened a new room in my heart just to store it in; all of it, I hope you will see in my actions and the things I do up until the day I die, and only so much of it, you will find displayed through my regular smiling and breathing. Right beside playing music, one of my favourite things to do is share the love of God with other people through conversation. I hope I am able then to give you a piece of this great happiness I carry. Just know that I do not claim the bold title of "happy," "content," or "grateful" just to encourage others to do the same; even if I may not be laughing or speaking like one would imagine a cheerful person doing every waking hour. I can only express so much happiness through curved lips and open eyes. And that is because I have come to possess... unspeakable joy.

Whoever you are, whether you know me or not, I want to have a conversation with you. Let me share this great happiness with you through words as best as I can.

Let me tell you about something here,

I would like to share something very special with you. (Also) often am I asked why it is I am not currently in a relationship or why in the world am I not even interested in dating right now or hooking up with boys, so perhaps this will answer you again, but this time to its fullest extent. This is not why I am not chasing after relationships, but rather why I am content without one. Let me tell you something again now before you read, that I expect few to nod their heads while taking in the content of my words below and for most to leave this page disturbed or confused.

I have come to attain the most fulfilling friendship a person could ever know-- a friendship with the Creator of the universe and the Healer of my broken soul. I never imagined the God of the world... could love me. It's the kind of romance that makes me want to twirl the skirt of my dress in a field and smile when I'm going to sleep, in acknowledgement of my true Protector.

It's the kind that doesn't ever all the way die.

The kind of romance that causes me to constantly feel timelessly beautiful, even if not a gentleman in the world is treating me kindly. The kind of romance that keeps the creativity in me from dying, where my mouth and my fingertips are continuously crafting new outlets of art as another way to communicate to my Divine. My physical body thirsts for Him and my mind and my limbs will not stop learning new ways to speak through song or written word, whatever it may be.

Sure, I would love to be married one day and experience perfect, life-long romance with the male human God designed me to belong to. But until that time comes, I am happily and absolutely content. Every day I wake up, I have the ability to make a difference in one's life. Now how do you expect me to have the slightest understanding of that and not be satisfied with the very gift of being alive?  My God! What a wonderful thing it is to have a friendship with You. What a reward it is to know we were all given the ability to save lives for You. If only we would let You in...

I have come to know the greatest romance of all.

And I know now...

that I will never know the feeling of being alone.

(To see more photos I take, visit my photographic compositions) 

You make beautiful things

out of the dust

And You make beautiful things out of us

My life

My top 10 record picks of '11

Note: Some of the following are subject to change order as I have not listened to every single album from start to finish

10. "21" - Adele

9. "A Creature I Don't Know" - Laura Marling

8. "Codes and Keys" - Death Cab For Cutie

7. "Ashes & Fire" - Ryan Adams

6. "The King Of Limbs" - Radiohead

5. "Mylo Xyloto" - Coldplay

4. "Bon Iver" - Bon Iver

3.  "Yearbook" - Sleeping At Last

2. "Helplessness Blues" - Fleet Foxes

1. "Inni (Live)" - Sigur Ros


Pats on the back:
"Ceremonials" - Florence + the Machine
"Strange Negotiations" - Dave Bazan
"Circuital" - My Morning Jacket