At 14 years old, I sat in a shoe store

before going to the doctor,
my eyes tearing up with handfuls of shoeboxes  s c a t t e r e d  a l l   a r o u n d   m e


as I tried to slide my impaired foot into shoe after shoe


My dream was to own and be able to walk in a pair of bright, red shiny stilettos
but I had permanent nerve damage in my leg and ankle that prevented me from lifting my right foot into a shoe.

I quickly wiped my eyes before anyone could tell I was crying,
and as I began to bandage my leg back up into my brace,
my mom
held my hand and told me that I'd be able to wear them someday


One day after having surgery, the doctors removed one of my casts
from my newly tender skin and left the room
for a moment.

The skin on my leg was so tender from surgery,
that it hurt for it to even touch the bed I was laying on
so my mom
came up and held my leg for me so that it wouldn't have to touch the bed.
She said,


"Susie,    if    we    make    it    through    this. . .

. . . I'll    buy    you    those    ultimate    shoes."


At 19 years old, I'm smiling
as I write this  journey  into my journal. . .


In my closet, directly behind me,
is a pair of bright red, shiny stilettos


Due to further physical complications, I can no longer wear them
but I keep the shoes


in reminder of the ultimate mother
I've had fighting this battle alongside me




Mom, your fighting spirit gives me hope

Do you realize?

We're floating in space













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Here's my heart, Lord

take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above.

Photo credit: Tori Panda