Oh Comely

Sanctuary

2012-02-27T20:49:00.000-08:00

a word which here means a safe place in a troubling world, like an oasis in a vast desert or an island in a stormy sea

Unspeakable joy

2012-02-05T12:57:00.000-08:00

The human body is only capable of expressing so much emotion. A person can sob their very hardest when experiencing the greatest pain known to mankind, but sometimes the extreme of the emotion exceeds our ability to express it, and we are unable to display the degree of whatever extreme state of mind we have reached.

I assume most who know me, know of me, or recognize my name somewhere often pair whatever visual of me they have in their mind with the happiness I claim to have or the little smile I like to give. I am easily excited and often respond to jolly news like a silly, little girl. But you won't see me at a high energy level every waking moment or wearing a blissful grin every time you take a glance at me. I would not even be shocked if someone once says, "You seem very happy by the clothes you wear and the jokes you tell, but I do not see you constantly laughing, and sometimes you're even quiet."

That is because... I have reached a level of happiness and contentment that I am physically only capable of showing so much of. There is so much love inside of me that God has opened a new room in my heart just to store it in; all of it, I hope you will see in my actions and the things I do up until the day I die, and only so much of it, you will find displayed through my regular smiling and breathing. Right beside playing music, one of my favourite things to do is share the love of God with other people through conversation. I hope I am able then to give you a piece of this great happiness I carry. Just know that I do not claim the bold title of "happy," "content," or "grateful" just to encourage others to do the same; even if I may not be laughing or speaking like one would imagine a cheerful person doing every waking hour. I can only express so much happiness through curved lips and open eyes. And that is because I have come to possess... unspeakable joy.

Whoever you are, whether you know me or not, I want to have a conversation with you. Let me share this great happiness with you through words as best as I can.

Let me tell you about something here,

2012-01-17T19:55:00.000-08:00

I would like to share something very special with you. (Also) often am I asked why it is I am not currently in a relationship or why in the world am I not even interested in dating right now or hooking up with boys, so perhaps this will answer you again, but this time to its fullest extent. This is not why I am not chasing after relationships, but rather why I am content without one. Let me tell you something again now before you read, that I expect few to nod their heads while taking in the content of my words below and for most to leave this page disturbed or confused.

I have come to attain the most fulfilling friendship a person could ever know-- a friendship with the Creator of the universe and the Healer of my broken soul. I never imagined the God of the world... could love me. It's the kind of romance that makes me want to twirl the skirt of my dress in a field and smile when I'm going to sleep, in acknowledgement of my true Protector.

It's the kind that doesn't ever all the way die.

The kind of romance that causes me to constantly feel timelessly beautiful, even if not a gentleman in the world is treating me kindly. The kind of romance that keeps the creativity in me from dying, where my mouth and my fingertips are continuously crafting new outlets of art as another way to communicate to my Divine. My physical body thirsts for Him and my mind and my limbs will not stop learning new ways to speak through song or written word, whatever it may be.

Sure, I would love to be married one day and experience perfect, life-long romance with the male human God designed me to belong to. But until that time comes, I am happily and absolutely content. Every day I wake up, I have the ability to make a difference in one's life. Now how do you expect me to have the slightest understanding of that and not be satisfied with the very gift of being alive? My God! What a wonderful thing it is to have a friendship with You. What a reward it is to know we were all given the ability to save lives for You. If only we would let You in...

I have come to know the greatest romance of all.

And I know now...

that I will never know the feeling of being alone.

(To see more photos I take, visit my photographic compositions)

You make beautiful things

2012-01-12T10:00:00.000-08:00

out of the dust

And You make beautiful things out of us

My life

2012-01-08T15:42:00.000-08:00

My top 10 record picks of '11

2012-01-01T20:22:00.000-08:00

Note: Some of the following are subject to change order as I have not listened to every single album from start to finish

10. "21" - Adele

9. "A Creature I Don't Know" - Laura Marling

8. "Codes and Keys" - Death Cab For Cutie

7. "Ashes & Fire" - Ryan Adams

6. "The King Of Limbs" - Radiohead

5. "Mylo Xyloto" - Coldplay

4. "Bon Iver" - Bon Iver

3. "Yearbook" - Sleeping At Last

2. "Helplessness Blues" - Fleet Foxes

1. "Inni (Live)" - Sigur Ros

Pats on the back:
"Ceremonials" - Florence + the Machine
"Strange Negotiations" - Dave Bazan
"Circuital" - My Morning Jacket

This is the documentary I filmed over my journey

2011-12-04T14:58:00.001-08:00

8 Things To Do Before Christmas:

2011-11-28T02:22:00.000-08:00

1. Play Christmas songs in a nursing home

2. Volunteer at John 3:16

3. Finish Brother Rabbit’s album

4. Make a really funny video spoof of a popular holiday film or song

5. Play music for the kids at the youth shelter

6. Cover Christmas songs with the band at shows

7. Hug someone dressed up as Santa Clause

8. Take family photos for the women at the abuse shelter with their children on Christmas Day

God

2011-11-27T02:19:00.000-08:00

I don’t want to be anybody. I don’t want to care about the shoes I wear or how much money my job in the future will make me. Both of those things can be destroyed if touched with a flaming match. I only want to desire what can be increased when touched by a flaming match—and that’s sincere passion. Give me more of that undying passion for the one God with whom I am falling deeper in love with.

My life was not saved to be spent looking for boyfriends and shopping for the hottest clothing. I am in a race, and there are things waiting to be learned and people that the God of the whole Universe wants me to save, if I could just keep my child-like eyes on Him.

I often forget that nothing in this world has meaning unless it’s from You. I often forget Jesus is the only thing to be sought during our lifetimes and that everyone else is spinning madly away from it, even me sometimes. And when I remember this, it makes me draw closer to You for comfort and pull farther away from the world. I now desire to hold the hand of a stranger just to pray with them in public, to do things such as journeying into the darkest of prisons just to play music for the prisoners and tell them about the Hope they thought they were too hopeless to have. I no longer care anymore about wearing fancy clothes all the time, or getting noticed by boys, or owning the newest piece of technology. None of these flammable things will be relevant, by any means, when my time comes and I breathe my last breath and I see Jesus.

Here I am, lying awake in my bed at 3:30 a.m., unable to even sleep because of how much I want to talk with You. Can we stay up all night and talk? It would be great fun.

-Your pilgrim

It's Halloween

2011-10-31T13:22:00.000-07:00

one of my favourite holidays that I usually spend dressed in costumes with friends. But today I got to spend it with one of my (adopted) families on a magical island they love to visit, called Kythira.

On our expedition today, I saw many great things, most of which I cannot describe. I climbed the stairs to the church inside a cave where John began the writing of Revelation. I watched from the edge of a cliff, water made up of 3 shades of blue collapse against boulders that were so large, they protruded out of the sea. I walked across volcanic rocks and smelled wild thyme. I photographed bats in a cave and found a dried-up seahorse under a rock. I saw a sunken ship in the ocean.

Throughout all of this, though I spent it happy and laughing, something in my heart cried and cried; not out of sadness, I must tell you. But it ached because I was just getting to see one more side of the Creator of all of these places, my Protector. And it was making me fall more in love with Him. He is more fascinating than my mind can allow me to connect words with to write down in my journal. I end here.

Reconciliation - A WWII Bombing Of St. Michael's Cathedral

2011-10-26T12:50:00.000-07:00

This is a short documentary I made while we were in England. Tell me how the concept of forgiveness like this effects you. It honestly just left me standing in the historical site in silence, my heart broken.

Further history: On November 14 1940, the city of Coventry, England was nearly destroyed by German bombers. 14th century St. Michael's cathedral died amongst all the fire.

On November 14 1990, The Queen Mother attended the Service of Remembrance and Reconciliation at the Cathedral's remains where she exchanged gifts with Richard von Weizsäcker, President of the Federal Republic of Germany, adding to Coventry's commitment to forgiveness and reconciliation.

My dream

2011-10-24T07:41:00.000-07:00

Back in our cabin at the OM base in Roscommon, I opened my eyes to this morning.
Sleep broke and I woke up feeling empowered. It is likely that I even could have been smiling. I don't even start functioning in the mornings until several hours after awakening, so why would I wake up feeling empowered?

I had a dream last night. None of this I tell you is to sound fancy in writing or to be poetic, I tell you nothing but straight truth of what I woke up from. Apparently, in my dream I had posted a Facebook status relating to God and something He had been doing in me, and that affected everyone else on my friends list, who all began posting status about God and things He had been doing in them too, I assume. Then I found myself leading some sort of parade with these people on the streets in Oklahoma, for something related to promoting Christ and I presume, what He had done for us. I knew that I was dreaming by this time, but for some reason, in my head I told myself I needed to do this in reality when I go back home.

The next thing I found myself doing, was playing guitar for people and singing an actual song I had written in real life a while back. The song is about Darkness and Light and brings spiritual warfare to life a bit, presenting good and evil as if they were people, and characteristics I imagined they would have. All over, the song is about the Devil and God and how the Devil wants to battle and provoke, even though God has already won.
In the dream, as I played this song, the Darkness came to life and swept over me. It appeared as something similar to a shadow and it tried to battle with me because it was angry. It knew that God won in the end of the song. But in real life, as I lay sleeping in my bed in our cabin, I could feel my body being pressed against the mattress, my shoulders being held down; it was as if the Darkness had really swept over and was actually oppressing me. I remember knowing that it was trying to fight with me, but I wasn't afraid. I laid still in my bed, just smiling. I wrote that song. I know how it ends.

In the second verse it says,
"The Darkness said to the Light
'Here I make my way up Your staircase'
But the Light didn't need to hide
It grew, it glowed, it grinned with pride"

That's what I was doing. I remember laying still in my bed just glowing with pride because I knew that the Light of Christ is inside me. And that's just what He did in the song. Therefore, I wasn't afraid because it wasn't actually my battle.

During this trip, before going to sleep, I have been praying that God would be in my dreams. That I would dream about Heaven, or anything related to Him that was real so that I would wake up with Him on my mind.

Then in the end of my dream last night, I sang the last two lines of the song, the Darkness still oppressing me, both in my dream and in real life,
"I am not afraid!
Because Light always destroys the Dark."

The shadow in my dream disappeared. The invisible claws on my shoulders lifted. I woke up and smiled. God went to the level of giving me a dream so real that He used one of my own songs so show me I have power in the Blood. Then I pushed the covers off and got out of bed. I was humbled and empowered.

How can anyone argue the existence of our Creator

2011-10-23T06:02:00.000-07:00

They must have to close their eyes at sunrise and sunset
and not look at anything else in between

Most of these photos were taken up by the north part of the Atlantic Ocean near Gort (Ireland). More posts coming soon...

The magical farmhouse in Lorrha

2011-10-21T03:42:00.000-07:00

Two days ago, after doing some work at the OM base, we traveled to a nearby town called Lorrha, where Ruth and Paul had stayed once. We're staying for a few days in a coach house cottage that we like to call The Magical Farmhouse. It's owned by an Irish family that the Lovins met last time they were there--an elderly lady, Iris, and her son--both of whom are very kind, especially the adorable old lady who I want to hug a million times, with her cordial smile and her telling me she's named after the flower.

Our farmhouse is made of stone and was built in the 1800s. There are sheep (of course) and darling little burros here that will run up to you in the friendliest manner when you approach them. This is the prettiest place I have ever seen, and the most magical of Ireland I've seen so far.

This morning, I wandered out behind the apple tree to a little rock wall garden with a wooden bench, and I talked to God out loud for probably at least 30 minutes. It felt gorgeous to talk to Him that way in such a comely place. I should start out all my mornings that way. What better place to be than in communication with God.

This afternoon, we wandered through more ancient castle ruins. Tomorrow, Sarah and I will explore some ourselves and make up stories about them.
Another adventure awaits me readily on the morrow...

Here I sit on my first day in Ireland

2011-10-14T10:46:00.000-07:00

by a campfire on the peak of evening. I sit with Sarah and Paul beside a Dutch man, listening to him talk about the Scriptures. I can't understand everything that he's saying because his mind is far too wise and his accent is so thick, but I see the Heavenly Father in him.

As he tells us about all the languages he learned in school, his 11 grandchildren he has now, and his favourite story in the Bible about Elisha, I see God's perfection. Everything is perfect. Regardless of any opinion I could have on a matter, it's all still perfect because God made it. I love the way He reveals Himself to me... through everything. He reveals His perfection over, and over, and over.

He makes all things new

2011-10-14T07:49:00.000-07:00

I've never seen an elderly woman cry any other place than a funeral

2011-10-13T07:38:00.000-07:00

until the other day during an outreach in Coventry when I shared Christ with her. I prayed with two elderly ladies and it was so touching. The one in particular that I had the chance to talk about Jesus with cried, and when we held hands and prayed together, she cried again and smiled as she looked at me saying, "Thank you." Later, I was told that she was one of the ones that was unable to come to church often. God, help Margarie to know You're with her.

Here is a photo of one of my new friends I made during the outreach. His name is George and he said he has a lot of girlfriends.

The following night, we did an outreach for young teens and kids and I was asked to speak to them. Afterward, a little 13-year-old boy came up to me and said, "You know whenever people are born? You know how at that time they're all given purposes by God? Well, I think your purpose is to come speak to kids like us... and you do a pretty good job of it. I like you already."

All 14 kids to wrote down their names and prayer requests in my prayer journal. One girl wrote, "Pray that I have something to thank God for like you. I want to be thankful like you."

Father, continue to move in me so that lives can be changed. Make there be less of me so there can be room for more of You.

On the left side of the street

2011-10-12T07:25:00.000-07:00

I discovered these magical places

London

Halesowen

Warwick

Coventry

Carnforth

I heard about a young girl a long time ago

2011-10-02T14:16:00.000-07:00

who was a photographer
that was diagnosed with a serious case of Lupus and was not promised much time to live.
Tomorrow,
I will get on a plane with my photography mentor... and... friend
and spend the next month photographing a ministry--

she still is suffering from Lupus,

yet somehow continues to live and live v i b r a n t l y .

Ruth Lovin, your perseverance gives me hope

At 14 years old, I sat in a shoe store

2011-10-01T14:25:00.000-07:00

before going to the doctor,
my eyes tearing up with handfuls of shoeboxes s c a t t e r e d a l l a r o u n d m e

as I tried to slide my impaired foot into shoe after shoe

My dream was to own and be able to walk in a pair of bright, red shiny stilettos
but I had permanent nerve damage in my leg and ankle that prevented me from lifting my right foot into a shoe.

I quickly wiped my eyes before anyone could tell I was crying,
and as I began to bandage my leg back up into my brace,
my mom
held my hand and told me that I'd be able to wear them someday

One day after having surgery, the doctors removed one of my casts
from my newly tender skin and left the room
for a moment.

The skin on my leg was so tender from surgery,
that it hurt for it to even touch the bed I was laying on
so my mom
came up and held my leg for me so that it wouldn't have to touch the bed.
She said,

"Susie, if we make it through this. . .

. . . I'll buy you those ultimate shoes."

At 19 years old, I'm smiling
as I write this journey into my journal. . .

In my closet, directly behind me,
is a pair of bright red, shiny stilettos

Due to further physical complications, I can no longer wear them
but I keep the shoes

in reminder of the ultimate mother
I've had fighting this battle alongside me

Mom, your fighting spirit gives me hope

Do you realize?

2011-09-24T10:18:00.000-07:00

We're floating in space

See more of Tori's work here

Here's my heart, Lord

2011-09-12T14:49:00.000-07:00

take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above.

Photo credit: Tori Panda

I'm leaving the country in 4 weeks

2011-09-06T22:18:00.000-07:00

to travel across Europe to help a ministry with photography/film work.

“Declare His glory among the nations, His marvelous deeds among all peoples”
- Psalm 96:3

Help me afford this adventure of a lifetime to bring light and the real Love to those without by booking a photo or video shoot with my business before I leave!

Otherwise, you can help both me AND my band financially by paying only $4 to attend this upcoming musical encounter!

If you feed them, they will come

2011-09-02T10:58:00.000-07:00

Last night, I saw something I have not seen in its fullest extent until I was one stage with the worship band wrapping up the final song. I was looking into the same room I see every Thursday night-- a small, but happy welcoming building fit for a calm and relaxed weekly gathering for college kids who just want free food. This time arrived a strong presence of authenticity and humbleness.

I gazed from the stage at a room full of young, searching sinners like me. They were all loving on one another; those who had never met were hugging and saying words of encouragement, I could tell by the looks on their faces; those who were acquainted were holding one another and crying together, sharing eachother's burdens. Others just had their heads bowed and prayed alone.

I'm glad I gave up on religion for this.

It's not about going to church or a prayer you said when you were 8 years old. It's about living your life as a godly light in the darkness, it's about being the person that will sit by the kid who always sits alone, it's about praying for those who are lost in their own filthy sin, it's about forgiving those who don't deserve to be forgiven.

Religious people set bars with their legalism that no one, not even themselves that set them, can reach. Jesus did not come to this world start another religion. He's not a way--He is the way, and anything else followed that's not Jesus is just another meaningless religion.

If you're wanting to be a story-changing soul in this world, culture has to matter. The Message, though, will be relevant to every person, every culture, every sin, and every struggle--it's unchanging, like Jesus.
So be in this world, brothers and sisters, just don't be of it; because other people should matter more to us than our own rights, No one angered Jesus when He was on this earth like the religious did-- it was the outcasts, the hurting, the sinful and wicked who He loved on, spent time with, and showed mercy too.

I'm glad I found a church that's focused on being good to those in the community rather than doing a cheesy routine on Sunday mornings. And ultimately, I'm glad I've found a safe place on Thursday nights to be loved on by real, mistake-making people.

1660 N. Lynn Riggs Blvd Claremore, OK 74017
Come with me next Thursday, friend

No greater love hath this

2011-08-16T10:11:00.000-07:00

than a man who lay his life down for his friends

I celebrated the life of a friend today. I'm glad Anthony Peterson was in my life to set the ultimate example of true selflessness. It makes me excited to think that the next time we'll listen to The Avett Brothers together again will be in Heaven.

This is what you do when you have a bad day

2011-07-18T17:33:00.000-07:00

You make a list of random, little things that make you happy. Making your mind remember all these things changes your mood and is guaranteed to at least make you smile, even if it's secret and just on the inside.

Then forget about it and read it over again on your next bad day.

This is my list of 38 things that make me happy:

1. Not growing up

2. Swimming underwater

3. Summer evenings on a swingset

4. A lot of family together in one room

5. The feeling I get after learning my first song on a new instrument

6. Watching historical documentaries

7. Sharing Christ's love with people I don't even know

8. Researching and reading bios about old rock musicians

9. Sneaking into abandoned, creepy places and making an adventure out of it

10. Showing people their potential by capturing in photoshoots-- beauty they didn't know they had.

11. Going into an antique store I haven't been in yet

12. 1950s convertibles

13. Catching a bug or small critter and keeping it as a pet for a day

14. Old hymns, especially sung acapella

15. The smell of tobacco being smoked from a short distance away

16. Eating ice cream at the park

17. Mystery Science Theatres

18. Playing songs with my band and then suddenly realizing people in the audience know the words

19. When male specimens act like gentlemen and treat females like ladies

20. Playing pranks on people and having myself be the last person they'd suspect

21. The fact that I can hardly go anywhere without returning with a funny story about something silly I accidentally did

22. Writing and inventing things

23. Networking with other musicians and meeting new people in general

24. Loving on people that don't often get love

25. Pretending my car is spaceship while I'm driving

26. Wearing little girl dresses and just staying a kid

27. Trying on shoes and finding out I can fit my leg brace in them and don't hurt me to walk in

28. When male specimens wear suspenders or can just dress themselves nicely in general

29. Cotton candy

30. Old female jazz singers who had class

31. Making embarrassing movies with my brothers

32. Eating pasta

33. Buying a new box of crayons and journal every fall, even though I'm not actually in school anymore

34. Animals

35. Dressing up nicely for work or something professional related and pretending I'm in an old movie

36. Traveling and learning about other cultures

37. People's faces from the car in the lane next to me when they notice that I'm singing really loudly in mine all by myself

38. Hugging old people

I crowd surfed for the very first time

2011-06-12T12:26:00.000-07:00

last night. And at my own concert, too.

All last winter, I had been working on a short film to raise child abuse awareness and wanted to partner with my town's local youth shelter in the profit of the film. But almost consecutively after learning of the government cutting their funds, God laid on my heart to host a benefit concert for them, because I knew my film would not be completed in time to give them any of the profit made.

After our set, opening bands-- Monty Wu and Donovan Fite of The Lonelys came on stage with us and we dedicated a cover of 'Hey Jude' to the boys and girls in the shelter. I felt so humbled when the kids and the audience came on stage to sing with us. It couldn't have gone any better. I never dreamed of raising $1000 either.

If I could describe this so that others could understand, I would. But during the entire hour we played, it was like my usual fragile body was filled with some kind of supernatural fuel. I moved more than I have in weeks and it was all without pain.

After the show, God gave me the opportunity to share my faith with the two girls from the shelter that were there. Such wonderful, growing people. I'd pick getting to do that over getting paid at any old show.

(During the finale with all the bands and some of the crowd performing 'Hey Jude.')
For more brilliant photos Tori took, you can visit her photostream here

This afternoon, I returned to the same hospital

2011-06-01T14:43:00.000-07:00

that I lay in exactly 7 years ago this week. I played music in the rooms of sick kids like me, and watched smiles grow on their little faces whenever I sang. Thank You, God, for letting someone so underserving have an opportunity like that. Thank You for reminding me why I'm alive.

Today, I rejoice

2011-05-30T08:39:00.000-07:00

in the anniversary of surviving brain trauma, exactly 7 years ago today. Life is a very precious gift and I am grateful to have mine back. For this reason alone, I cannot complain but rejoice. Amazing Grace.

I saw Heaven standing open

2011-05-19T11:11:00.000-07:00

and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and makes war. His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns. He has a name written on him that no one knows but he himself. He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Word of God. The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses and dressed in fine linen, white and clean. Out of his mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations. "He will rule them with an iron scepter." He treads the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God Almighty. On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written: KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.

Magnificent painting by Derick Snow

I really wish I could have seen Ke$ha in concert tonight. Oh wait, no I don't

2011-04-29T15:35:00.000-07:00

In other news, I just returned from the studio for recording a track with The Del Toros. Best of luck to you, my talented friends. You could overrule Ke$ha with one bar chord.

I adopted my own grandparents

2011-04-13T20:52:00.000-07:00

Forget rock n' roll stars, these are my role models.

Have you ever been inside of a haunted hospital?

2011-04-04T18:02:00.000-07:00

I have. And yesterday I explored one with my faithful explorer-sidekick, Tori the panda. There were three abandoned levels of pure emptiness and decay to walk down, leading us to its basement where we found windows with chains and an old doctor's mask. I am glad we made it out alive and didn't fall through the top floor.

This is a short documentary I made over one of my recent adventures

2011-03-26T14:20:00.001-07:00

But due to privacy reasons and our own safety, I was unable to capture our experiences during the homeless outreach and other similar events regarding some of the best parts of our trip.

These are a few photos

2011-03-25T08:47:00.000-07:00

of my very dangerous adventure from the other day on top of a railroad track up high on a highway. My friend Tori and I, we're experienced explorers. Nothing to worry about here.

To view more images like these, visit here

The House of the Rising Sun

2011-03-18T14:37:00.000-07:00

For spring break, I hobbled on my man-attracting cane through the obscenities of Bourbon St in New Orleans and talked with the homeless; my friends and I got to pray with one who had been riding his bike all over the world, right there in the streets. There is much more hard work to be done in this city, though. I finally returned at 3 A.M. this morning, after a 19-hour drive, to my home to play a show this weekend. This here is a photograph of my new musician friend and I.

I will tell more stories and post my documentary on here soon.

Happy Valentine's, suckers

2011-02-14T13:29:00.000-08:00

Here's to another perfect year of being happily single and free

I sure miss the soul

2011-02-11T15:09:00.001-08:00

that I wrote this with

The result of the world's longest snow-in

2011-02-06T10:18:00.000-08:00

I was inside of a treasure chest

2011-01-30T16:08:00.000-08:00

and You found me.

Look down at the water and you'll fall like snow

2011-01-17T19:16:00.000-08:00

because the Devil is a hungry, d e c e i v i n g black crow that will swoop down like to save you, but there isn't any saving you because his wing's aren't like the Father's that are strong, empty baskets. His wings are thin and crumbling and his mouth is like a casket; and he grins only to fool you, so look up already, why don't you? See the Father in the ocean? There He stands with arms wide open! I once long ago, fell into the water and listen to the d e c e i v i n g, black crow. He sent his minions to sleep inside my ears and frightening monsters was all I saw in every mirror. The tide is great with appetite; behind you sinks your boat. The Father stands ahead
so look away already from the crow! He'll trick your e y e s, he'll make you blind. So lift your head, baby child and believe inside your mind. Walk to your Dad like it's the first time moving your legs. When you fall, He's catch your back. But don't trust the crow's beak--it's a DEATHTRAP. Bones the crow gives, thorns the crow will feed. If it's not from the Father, it's not something we need. If we gaze at the oil painting of the Father, then be aware, little one, be aware... that we are free to walk on that water

FOR SALE

2011-01-13T08:15:00.000-08:00

+ Canon Rebel XT digital SLR camera

+ 18-55mm standard lens

+ 17-85mm wide angle lens(brand new)

+ SD card

+ battery & charger

= $1,050

All items have professional quality and everything is in perfect condition!

I am violent

2011-01-12T21:36:00.000-08:00

He is still

Snow Day

2011-01-10T14:49:00.000-08:00

After today's roll of film from my forest adventure gets developed, more photos will be available here

My top 10 record picks of '10

2011-01-02T00:40:00.000-08:00

Note: Some of the following are subject to change order as I have not listened to every single album from start to finish

10. Colour Revolt- The Cradle
9. Beach House- Teen Dream
8. Kings of Leon- Come Around Sundown
7. Seabear- We Built a Fire
6. Laura Marling- I Speak Because I Can
5. The Black Keys- Brothers
4. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers- Mojo
3. She & Him- Volume 3
2. Jonsi- Go
1. Arcade Fire- The Suburbs

Pats on the back:

Damien Jurado- Saint Bartlett
Olafur Arnalds- ...And They Have Escaped the Weight of the Darkness
Sufjan Stevens- All the Delighted People EP
Kanye West- My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
Philip Selaway- Familia
Geology- Three Birds EP
Now, Now Every Children- Neighbors EP

Happy new year; it's 1/1/11 1

2011-01-01T11:40:00.000-08:00

I am home, sick for the first time in about 2 years.
But having a good time by myself, reminiscing over a productive year.
January

February

March

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December

Next instrument: purchased

2010-12-28T16:24:00.000-08:00

A dear friend of mine's father built this from Peruvian mahogany and the wood of a 100-year-old piano.

All is calm, all is bright

2010-12-24T10:01:00.000-08:00

Happy early birthday, best Friend. Thank You for being born.

view more images here

I made fun of Ke$ha on the radio

2010-12-20T07:40:00.000-08:00

Oops.

For winning RSU's Battle of the Bands, the Rabbits and I were given the opportunity to be interviewed on Tulsa's rock station, The Edge (104.5). Then we got to come back last night and play three of our songs that were aired live on the radio.

Dwight Twilley was already in the studio when we arrived and told us he thought our music had a 'good feel to it' and that I had 'killer vox.' I found him on Wiki later and learned that he is/was friends with Phil Seymour and Tom Petty and had a #16 track on the charts in '75. Alright.

From last year

2010-12-11T23:25:00.000-08:00

A Holiday Update

2010-12-06T16:46:00.001-08:00

Finally got my license today.

2010-12-03T17:52:00.001-08:00

No big deal.

Got my first little black dress today

2010-11-30T14:39:00.000-08:00

Sure feel like a grown up in it

Today I am thankful for the simple fact that God let me spend the entire thing without any physical pain

2010-11-25T16:21:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone

The band as of recently

2010-11-21T18:58:00.000-08:00

Watch live streaming video from theclosetstudios at livestream.com

We were selected to attend an art gala, to record live in The Closet Studio, as RSU's battle of the bands winner, and to appear on The Edge radio soon! Nothing is more fun than to play with the gifts God gave to me for my time on this earth.

Meet Bobby

2010-11-03T18:44:00.000-07:00

Car number two

Halloweenie

2010-10-31T18:04:00.000-07:00

consisted of being zombies with Micah, the classic ninja and pirate with Sam, Batman and Robin with Liz, lots of costume parties, and even a fun trip to the Haunted Castle in Muskogee. Spooktacular.

My new toys

2010-10-25T20:34:00.000-07:00

view more images here

The best show ever

2010-10-23T12:15:00.000-07:00

Probably end up being Eliza and I's Halloween costumes

2010-10-16T14:43:00.001-07:00

The Rabbit family

2010-10-11T05:44:00.000-07:00

Album coming soon

I am playing the biggest show of my life tonight

2010-10-07T22:05:00.000-07:00

The prettiest lady I have ever seen

2010-10-05T18:02:00.000-07:00

Attempting to mold my hair after hers for the show Friday night.

Today I was approached my a man and his family in the market; they had happiness in their eyes

2010-10-03T13:01:00.000-07:00

He asked if anyone had ever prayed for me. I said, "Sir, that is the only reason I'm alive." Then he asked if they could pray for me. He held my hand and we all bowed our heads in the aisles. He told God, uncaring of the stares from people around us, "This is my sister in Christ. Thank you for saving her. I pray that you would heal her so she doesn't have to wear this brace anymore."

You that call yourselves followers of God, this is who we ought to be.

Stuff we did

2010-09-28T11:25:00.000-07:00

This summer I...

He must become greater

2010-09-23T10:03:00.000-07:00

I must become less

John 3:30

Eighteen

2010-09-18T21:22:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, I turned eighteen

Then all I wanted to have a birthday picnic in a magical park

Then Liz and I decided to drive really far away from where we were supposed to go and use up most of her gas and meet nice, homeless people in Sperry.

Then we almost cried because we kept driving on one-way streets and couldn't find our way back, so we turned around and followed our bread crumbs all the way back to the park.

Then it was dark when we got there, but it was alright because all our friends were there waiting.

They were happy to see us.

And what fun we had at last.

And how we will take a really long time to grow up.

In approximately 18 minutes I will be 18 years old

2010-09-16T21:48:00.000-07:00

There is nothing about turning 18 that sounds appealing. That means I have to start going to jail for stuff I regularly do. And paying bills and wearing black dress pants and being bored. But tomorrow also means cupcakes. And sidewalk chalk in the park and picnics and friends.

And balloons.

I just found out that Tails from Sonic the Hedgehog is a boy

2010-09-13T15:45:00.001-07:00

after all these years

I've been believing a lie

The finished product:

2010-09-08T17:50:00.000-07:00

You grow

2010-09-08T15:48:00.000-07:00

like tornado

Jonsi. Rain. Scriptwriting. Breadsticks. A day well done.

I ain't getting married

2010-08-29T14:52:00.000-07:00

unless Roger turns into a real live human and I can have him

Children, wade into the water

2010-08-24T10:23:00.000-07:00

Joel 2:28 "And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions."

REDEEMED.

Tomorrow turns a new leaf

2010-08-21T13:58:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I am being baptized again, but this time in a lake.

I was first saved and then later baptized when I was 9 years old, but it didn’t mean much to me; I didn’t do much with it. What good is buying a new dress if you’re not going to wear it? Why become a Christian if you’re not going to tell the whole world about it?

I should have died 6 years ago in a traumatic accident I was involved in. And it wasn’t until just a few years ago when I started piecing things together that I began to realize why God didn’t let me die. . . and what it is I am to live for.

God didn’t save me so I can feel sorry for myself. He saved me because there are suffering people all around me who hide in corners and inside their homes because they’re afraid of what people might think of them. There are girls who are too scared to look at themselves in the mirror because they don’t think they are pretty. And there is Susie— a girl who used to hide in corners because she has brain trauma, a girl who used to be too scared to look in the mirror because she can barely walk-- but who has so much joy inside of her and loves those people

We use our tiny eyes to see enormous things and God uses the small to do great things

When I was in the hospital, God spoke to me and said, “Susie, you will always be weak. But I will always be strong for you.”

And just recently I have been called to missions over in Iraq--to learn their language and tell the murdering, Iraqi soldiers who killed my friend years ago that there is just as much hope for them as there is for me.

I am called to love like Jesus loved

And tomorrow I am turning a new leaf; I am being baptized like Jesus was baptized

Down in the water by His friends.

I AM OFFICIALLY EMPLOYED

2010-08-18T15:47:00.000-07:00

after 500 years of trying
Thank thu Lawd Jeezus

1st day of school

2010-08-13T05:09:00.000-07:00

August Adventures

2010-08-12T13:34:00.001-07:00

SafeLight Cinema

An August day in Oklahoma

2010-08-09T22:44:00.001-07:00

I think this is great

2010-08-05T14:10:00.000-07:00

http://www.timschraeder.com/2010/06/30/a-different-kind-of-demonstration-at-gay-pride/

Thinking of him today

2010-08-04T11:27:00.000-07:00

Celebrating his 3rd year of dancing with Jesus
engjëjt në rrugën e tyre

Tonight

2010-07-29T23:06:00.000-07:00

Our biggest show yet.
Having an all-day practice at Jes's.
Jess's? Jesses. Jess'. Jes'.
Jes. . . forget it.

Your appearance tonight will be rewarded in hugs by members of Brother Rabbit.
Only. . . a lot more hours left.
See you there, bunnies!

Me On Vacation

2010-07-28T18:01:00.000-07:00

being attacked by giant moving stuffed animals

Happy birthday, best friend

2010-07-26T14:34:00.000-07:00

Wishing you many more days full of embarrassing moments spent together with me.

Rest in peace, Dylan

2010-07-24T19:05:00.000-07:00

My recent purchases

2010-07-15T11:13:00.000-07:00

Meinl hand drum - Guitar Center

Canon EF-S 17-85mm f/4-5.6 IS USM Autofocus Lens - B&H Photo

Hurry up UPS!

This is my idea of pretty

2010-07-09T12:37:00.000-07:00

Marion Cotillard

Not this

Today I cried because I miss the person that treated me the worst

2010-07-05T18:42:00.000-07:00

and I only just now found out you were made out of paper

How embarrassing

Independence Day is a celebration of our country in which we light small explosives and blow bits of it up

2010-07-04T23:26:00.000-07:00

No edits done:
(see more here)

Oh yeayuh, I ate sum hot dawgs wit muh gurlz: Tay Tay, Lizzy bby, and Blueberry and we had uh picnic, das how I dun celebrated it, know what uh mean. Whatchoo do?

There is hope in every new seed

2010-07-04T23:00:00.000-07:00

and in every flower that grows upon the Earth

Geez, this is tough on the heart
All the things I miss. Vanished as smoke.

Then I Was Born

2010-06-25T16:53:00.000-07:00

Then I got in trouble for colouring on my wall. Then I had a bug collection. Then all of my bugs died. Then I had a magical cat named Tigger. Then I was on a basketball team. Then I thought being a missionary was the worst job ever. Then I learned how to play guitar and thought I was going to be a rock star. Then I hit my head and went to sleep for a long time. Then I was different. Then I couldn't play guitar anymore. Then I cried cause my best friend made fun of me for being different. Then I saw monsters. Then I talked to God and the monsters went away. Then there were scary people inside of mirrors. Then I called God a meanie head cause I couldn't play basketball no more. Then I met a girl named Cassie who walked like me. Then God healed her and not me. Then she had a marvelous impact on my life. Then someone in Iraq killed my friend who was in the army. Then I went to private school and had to wear a uniform and met a lot of people made out of paper. Then I told my mom the truth and my sister got mad and ran away. Then I believe a lie a boy told me. Then I remembered an angel I saw and God said it was going to be okay. Then I saw the beauty in my parents and family. Then I wore a dress and felt pretty. Then I met my best friend Elizabeth who made me laugh harder than anyone else. Then she taught me how to be truly grateful. Then I played music again in a band with wonderful people. Then God called me to missions. Then I met a boy with chocolate eyes named Zak who wasn't made out of paper and told me he liked the way I walked. Then we went on lots of adventures and he became my other best friend. Then I graduated high school. Then I went to school to become a film director. Next I go to Chicago to visit Zak, tour the world with Brother Rabbit, and go to Iraq to give love to the unlovely.

I Learned I Ain't So Good With Goodbyes

2010-06-22T13:17:00.000-07:00

but today I had to put my best friend on a plane to fly to a big, scary city all by himself. Susie the mother hen. I was just as nervous as he.

I even forgot to pack him a sandwich in his carry-on.

Oh well.
Happy adventures, cracker jack

Messes of Men

2010-06-20T20:18:00.000-07:00

Roadtrip to OKC with dear friends Taylor, Michael, Zak, and Liz:

I had some large dreams of mine fulfilled when the band mewithoutYou's manager finally contacted me back and agreed to let me create a documentary over them before the show. I stepped outside as their tour bus coasted to a stop and saw Aaron Weiss and Dave Bazan at the same time. Zachary filmed us as we sat down with them backstage and talked. We even got the luck of hanging on the bus with opener, Dave Bazan. What a fantastic night!

More pictures here

Documentary coming soon. . .

Friday

2010-06-13T21:44:00.000-07:00

We celebrated our last few days with Zachary somewhere in dreamland in the midst of my field with a picnic, dancing, and swimming.

2010-06-08T17:31:00.000-07:00

What happened to covering skin?
Swimsuit shopping yesterday with Liz was a riot. I laughed out loud at all the $50 strings dripping from hangers like wet spaghetti. 85% of my paycheck for two pieces of strings? I could save the dough and wear my bra and panties. Have a nice day, ma'am, I'm headed to the next store.

Wish these were more popular and that I had $299:

2010-06-06T07:52:00.000-07:00

Today is the day I woke up from my coma

This is the first time I have ever posted any of my writings
Read Here

High-Waist Taste

2010-06-02T21:18:00.000-07:00

Oh, if the state of Oklahoma were classy enough to have a store that owned these pants. . . I'd be a lucky woman.

I Died Today

2010-05-30T12:04:00.000-07:00

It's not my birthday.

But today I am 6 years old.

Click this to read about it from a different perspective

69 Years

2010-05-24T14:41:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday, Robert Allen Zimmerman-- biggest musical idol of mine.
Hope your stone keeps on a rollin' for multiple years to come.

The horribly snapped, blurry photo below was taken by me on 10/16/09

Subterranean Homesick Alien

2010-05-23T14:58:00.000-07:00

Congratulations, buddy. You done graditated, too.

Mother and baby bird in one nest at last

2010-05-13T16:35:00.000-07:00

A boy, a boat. A rootbeer float.

Girl in the grass, animal in my lap.

Pentax K1000 70s film camera